The Misfit.

   This will be a short one I promise you ,dear reader. It actually took me quite the time to figure out how I should define things happening around me and with myself so I could give a title to this post.

I chose the word misfit:Basically, an individual. True misfits usually are introverts. Misfits tend to follow their own beliefs, and are usually persecuted for it. Misfits tend to be hated for no reason, have few good friends, and are usually intelligent and mature, and sometimes sort of insane and depressed. Misfits tend not to care about their bad social lives, but some do.

When I was in middle school & in highschool I think I was pretty happy with everything around me and I was what you nowadays call “social” , outgoing & fun.Used to like parties and crazy ideas ,doing something stupid all day everyday . My best friend will always say to me: “Look at you , you make friends with everyone,wish I could do it ” and I would always laugh and say : ” Easy busy ,you just go ahead and do it “. Now , I’m 21 and I still like and enjoy meeting new people  BUT it’s really hard for me to like someone and enjoy their company , also I have a huge social anxiety. For example if there is a new group of people who I have to meet I would probably stay quiet around them ,rather listen than talk. It’s another thing when I get to know them of course , I’m a little nerdy and retarded and when I get comfy with you .. trust me you will know. I prefer going out in small groups of people so I can freely talk with and pay equal attention to everyone , I enjoy more quiet places and not that crowded ones. If it’s a crowded place for some reason I get really irritated ,even on the street or public transportation. Ha ha listen here , if a bus is crowded I will most likely get off on the next bus stop , not even kidding.

I don’t like society , even though maybe I am part of it like it or not.  Let’s check the definition of the word Society:A group of people who sets a standard and everyone that is affected by that standard is part of it. An organized group of people associated together for religious,benevolent, cultural, scientific, political, patriotic, or other purposes.
Cool … my society are my friends & family , I don’t give a single fudge for strangers. There might be some that have the same believes and ideas like me , but for the rest I don’t care at all and I don’t think I should. Plus I can’t stand stupidity, ignorance and being fake just to prosper  ( kinda makes me sound like a hater but I’m not I do respect other human choices) I understand who society wants me to be , yeah you know what I’m talking about ! There are a lot of standards set for young girls , boys, woman, man … in my case look good ,do girly stuff , obey and be obeyed , listen to people ,be kind blah blah . I’ve experienced it all . I actually did quite the experiment myself.
I played the introvert and I played the extrovert, as expected when I played the introvert people did shut me down & when I played the extrovert people were pleased and happy with me . Btw that’s a really nice way to test your friends but most of my friends know me well so they always know when I mess around with them.

But this is the least problem I’m facing right now. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere ,maybe haven’t found the right place. Stuck in between I wanna get my life together and life’s too short so screw it I’m gonna do whatever.
At the moment I’m back in my country but I’m struggling almost everyday.I’m miserable, people are leaving me (lone wolf biatch)  , I’m not happy with a lot of things surrounding me (doesn’t stop me from being positive in a weird way), what bothers me the most is that in my opinion a lot of the young people are not open-minded , not realistic and what’s more important not happy.  Also I can’t stay at one place for a long time ,the average everyday routine is slowly killing me when I know that there is a whole world in front of me to explore. The gypsy in me shivers when I think of traveling. Too bad I don’t have the sources and opportunity to travel but hey , I’m doing whatever I can to change that !

” No matter how “normal” people look, living “ordinary” lives, everyone has a story to tell. And maybe, just like me, everyone else is a misfit too. ” 🙂

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