The Misfit

 This will be a short one I promise you , dear reader . It actually took me quite the time to figure out how I should define things happening around me and with myself so I could give a title to this post.

I chose the word misfit : Basically, an individual . True misfits usually are introverts. Misfits tend to follow their own beliefs, and are usually persecuted for it. Misfits tend to be hated for no reason , have few good friends , and are usually intelligent and mature, and sometimes sort of insane and depressed. Misfits tend not to care about their bad social lives, but some do.

When I was in middle school & in highschool I think I was pretty happy with everything around me and I was what you nowadays call “social” , outgoing & fun.Used to like parties and crazy ideas ,doing something stupid all day everyday . My best friend will always say to me: “Look at you , you make friends with everyone,wish I could do it ” and I would always laugh and say : ” Easy busy ,you just go ahead and do it “. Now , I’m 21 and I still like and enjoy meeting new people  BUT it’s really hard for me to like someone and enjoy their company , also I have a huge social anxiety. For example if there is a new group of people who I have to meet I would probably stay quiet around them ,rather listen than talk. It’s another thing when I get to know them of course , I’m a little nerdy and retarded and when I get comfy with you .. trust me you will know. I prefer going out in small groups of people so I can freely talk with and pay equal attention to everyone , I enjoy more quiet places and not that crowded ones. If it’s a crowded place for some reason I get really irritated ,even on the street or public transportation. Ha ha listen here , if a bus is crowded I will most likely get off on the next bus stop , not even kidding.

I don’t like society , even though maybe I am part of it like it or not.  Let’s check the definition of the word Society:A group of people who sets a standard and everyone that is affected by that standard is part of it. An organized group of people associated together for religious,benevolent, cultural, scientific, political, patriotic, or other purposes.
Cool … my society are my friends & family , I don’t give a single fudge for strangers. There might be some that have the same believes and ideas like me , but for the rest I don’t care at all and I don’t think I should. Plus I can’t stand stupidity, ignorance and being fake just to prosper  ( kinda makes me sound like a hater but I’m not I do respect other human choices) I understand who society wants me to be , yeah you know what I’m talking about ! There are a lot of standards set for young girls , boys, woman, man … in my case look good ,do girly stuff , obey and be obeyed , listen to people ,be kind blah blah . I’ve experienced it all . I actually did quite the experiment myself.
I played the introvert and I played the extrovert, as expected when I played the introvert people did shut me down & when I played the extrovert people were pleased and happy with me . Btw that’s a really nice way to test your friends but most of my friends know me well so they always know when I mess around with them.

But this is the least problem I’m facing right now. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere , maybe haven’t found the right place . Stuck in between I wanna get my life together and life’s too short so screw it I’m gonna do whatever .
At the moment I’m back in my country but I’m struggling almost everyday.I’m miserable, people are leaving me (lone wolf biatch)  , I’m not happy with a lot of things surrounding me (doesn’t stop me from being positive in a weird way) , what bothers me the most is that in my opinion a lot of the young people are not open-minded , not realistic and what’s more important not happy .  Also I can’t stay at one place for a long time , the average everyday routine is slowly killing me when I know that there is a whole world in front of me to explore . The gypsy in me shivers when I think of traveling . Too bad I don’t have the sources and opportunity to travel but hey , I’m doing whatever I can to change that !

” No matter how “normal” people look, living “ordinary” lives, everyone has a story to tell. And maybe, just like me, everyone else is a misfit too. ” 🙂

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